Should I Call It Stress?

I don't know how else to describe this terrible feeling other than "stress". But it's worse than stress, kind of overwhelming. I love my daughter so much that going to work brings so much anxiety. I feel like I should be home with her but also feel a responsibility to be at work. I can't do both though.

I got a call from my boss yesterday asking if I was ok..  I didn't realize my stress was obvious! I try to hide it, especially at work. She said that I've been under-performing at work and not doing as good as she knows I can do. I know Charlotte is in good hands with her daddy but I still can't help but breakdown when I'm not with her. Please tell me I'm not the only one! Before I had her, I was planning on moving up and eventually be a store manager but the second I held her in my arms I felt like everything I thought was important was ridiculous now compared to my new responsibility.
 I know that part of that responsibility is helping provide for my family so we can buy diapers, medicine, teething toys, and clothes for her, and give her a roof over her head. I already know that. But I feel like teaching my daughter and watching her grow is more important than having money. Knowing that I am nurturing my daughter myself and not relying on a friend or paid sitter makes it worth just staying home.
But it's essential I work if we want to get Chris through school. The faster he gets done with school and gets settled into his career THEN I can stay home. But that isn't for a while longer. By then I'll have missed things like her first steps and first words. Is it selfish for me to want to stay home even though we need the money? Even though it is the ONLY way we can get Chris through school? Both are very important.
I have two choices; quit and stay home with my baby and make Chris work more or work full time and let Chris go to school full time.
I'm completely and utterly torn.
Help?!

Thanks, rant over.

Easter Sunday

Easter was definitely a lovely day. I have to work almost every Sunday,  but we were closed today sp I was able to go to church with my family. I absolutely love attending church with my dears. With church at 11, we were able to sleep in, eat some breakfast and then go to church. After. Church we had a lovely nap, then spent the evening at my in laws. We played a pretty heated game of Monopoly (no worries, it ended well) and had dinner.
This whole spring season always reminds me of the beauty that was created for us. I'm grateful for my family and our ability to get through this rough time together.

Life as We Know It

Man, I'm terrible with my blog. I used to be on top of it. But let's face with a husband, a baby, and a job, I'm swamped. The time I do have I spend with my little family. Plus we don't have internet anymore.
Anyway, for a MAJOR update...
We had our little girl on January 1st, (I'm not quite ready to share her birth story yet) and yes, we were a little upset about the awesome tax break that wasn't going to happen but we were just happy to finally have her in our arms.
We celebrated our 1st anniversary three days later. Chris had to work during the day, but we were able to walk around the Temple and talk about our favorite memories from that day. And having Charlotte with us made our Temple marriage feel so much more real, knowing that that decision we made to be married and sealed there for time and all eternity was one of the best decision of our lives.
Chris has been working a part time job and I went back to work at the end of February.  The HARDEST thing I've ever had to do was leave my baby at home. She was safe with her daddy but it was so difficult for me to not be there. But knowing she is at home with her daddy whenever I have to work makes it bearable.
Since having Charlotte we've moved to a smaller place. Just a little duplex down the street and a whole lot cheaper.
There is no doubt that we've been going through a difficult time but there is no doubt that we'll get through it. But who isn't poor right now? Haha
For now, I'm grateful for what we do have and for the family and friends that have helped. Even if they don't think they're helping, they are!
We celebrated Chris's birthday Saturday AND Sunday. Saturday morning he was and to go golfing with some of my brothers then my in laws took us out to lunch at this really yummy New York themed restaurant. Then Sunday, we spent the morning lounging around together eating banana pancakes, went to church (the right ward this time), we hung out with my in laws in the afternoon and that evening I baked a cake (recipe here) and spent the night hanging out with my family.
I love my little family and wouldn't trade it for anything.